The title says it all. Reality—at least midlife reality—bites. I never saw the movie of the same name, and for the longest time I assumed it was a vampire movie. Now I know better, but I still like the phrase as a vampire metaphor, because right now it kind of feels like reality is sinking its pointy little fangs into my carotid artery and slowly sucking the life out of me.
A little over a year ago, Janet Jackson announced to the world that she was expecting. At 50. And my husband sent me the following horrifying text:
So, this just happened: I tossed 2 Tide Pods into the washing machine and ran a full wash cycle on Permanent Press before realizing: I forgot to add the clothes.
Then there was the time I was driving to my dog’s groomer appointment, and realized a mile down the road that I forgot to bring the dog…
If you’re at all familiar with millennial vernacular, you’ve surely noticed the recent rise of the use of the word “adulting” as a verb. It’s the millennial term for taking on the grown-up responsibilities that come with adulthood, and is often preceded by a hashtag, as in: “Just made mac & cheese from scratch. #adulting” or, “Spent my whole paycheck on food and toilet paper. #adulting.”
Lord knows, I’m no millennial. I’ve been “adulting” since almost before the first millennial was born. And yet, I still often feel like an impostor grown-up. Even with the specter of 50 looming over the horizon, I feel like I have been taking the “fake it ’til you make it” approach to adulthood for the past 25 years. Continue reading “Adulting Like a Middle-Aged Boss”