Can I smear you now?

I’ve been feeling a little more tired than usual over the past few days. Fatigued. Exhausted. Weary. Drained. I’ve been trying to understand what could be causing this malaise. This unease. This sense of melancholy.

The good news: I’m clearly still alert enough to use a Thesaurus. The bad news: I figured out what’s wrong with me, and it’s something that only time can heal. Continue reading “Can I smear you now?”

If I ever have time to blog again…

If I ever have time to blog again, the first thing I will do is extend a very special “Bon Jour” to Equilibre, the French-Canadian fitness site that likes to steal my blog posts, translate them into French, and post them as their own without giving me credit! Don’t believe me? Check it out HERE. (Sorry — I just want to see if they have the balls to steal this one now!)

Continue reading “If I ever have time to blog again…”

The Hanger Games

A warning to my friends: If you run into me this week, I may seem a little crabbier than usual. There are seemingly many reasons for this, but it really all boils down to one: I am a cliché.

I’m one of those people who signed up for a weight loss program at the beginning of the new year. It’s through my awesome gym (shout-out to Ki’netik Fitness!), and it’s actually called “6-Weeks to a Healthier You!” And as everyone knows, “healthier” is really a code word for “skinnier.” I’m all for that.

Continue reading “The Hanger Games”

Procrastinators, Unite! (Tomorrow.)

It’s Finals Week for my son. I have to say, while there are a lot of things about college life that I would like to relive, Finals Week is not among them. How many of you still wake up in a cold sweat occasionally due to a nightmare about Finals Week — like, the one where you forgot you signed up for a class and missed it all semester, but here you are, taking the final exam on a subject you know nothing about? Or the one where you’re desperately roaming through a maze of a building trying to find the classroom the final is being given in? These are dreams that still haunt me, decades after graduating from college. Continue reading “Procrastinators, Unite! (Tomorrow.)”

All is Calm, All is Bright

Hello, friends! The last time I checked in with you all was on Halloween. And here we are, already just a couple days away from another holiday! Yes, just 2 days before Thanksgiving (and, incidentally, 6 days before Deer Day), I am sitting here in front of my computer, writing something just for you people to read. Doesn’t that make you feel special??

Well, don’t read too much into it.

Continue reading “All is Calm, All is Bright”

Halloween Humbug

So, I have this dog. He’s a Havanese. He weighs all of 9 pounds, he’s adorable, he’s extremely friendly, and most of the time he’s pretty chill. He basically only barks for two reasons:

1.) When someone walks past the house, and
2.) When someone rings the doorbell.

Unfortunately, tonight is Halloween, which means for two hours straight we will have two things happening:

1.) People walking past the house, and
2.) People ringing the doorbell.

Good times. Continue reading “Halloween Humbug”