Adulting Like a Middle-Aged Boss

If you’re at all familiar with millennial vernacular, you’ve surely noticed the recent rise of the use of the word “adulting” as a verb. It’s the millennial term for taking on the grown-up responsibilities that come with adulthood, and is often preceded by a hashtag, as in: “Just made mac & cheese from scratch. #adulting” or, “Spent my whole paycheck on food and toilet paper. #adulting.

Lord knows, I’m no millennial. I’ve been “adulting” since almost before the first millennial was born. And yet, I still often feel like an impostor grown-up. Even with the specter of 50 looming over the horizon,  I feel like I have been taking the “fake it ’til you make it” approach to adulthood for the past 25 years. Continue reading “Adulting Like a Middle-Aged Boss”

Houseflies Matter

For the past several days, my family has been tormented by a fly. This fly is just your average everyday housefly, I suppose, except for the fact that it is roughly the size of a small blimp. I have no idea how it found its way into our house, but it has been constantly buzzing around our kitchen, taunting us with its lightning fast reflexes and Usain Bolt-like speed. I offered my son a buck if he could kill it, but despite stalking the fly with a swatter for a good 20 minutes, he’s had no luck. I’m telling you, there’s no way Mr. Myagi or Daniel-san could pull the old chopstick-catching trick on this sucker.

Continue reading “Houseflies Matter”

Can Anyone Recommend a Good Retail Therapist?

It’s tough work being an American consumer in this day and age. Companies are putting more & more responsibility on our shoulders and laying more & more guilt on our psyches. This is something that became crystal clear to me the other day in the Taco Bell drive-thru line. As I paid for my order of Nacho Cheese Doritos® Locos Tacos (it was for my teenage son, I swear), the kid at the window handed me a receipt with a survey at the bottom. He looked me in the eye and said, “If you fill this out and give me a good review, I’ll get an extra $10 in my next paycheck.”  I had to admire the honesty, but what choice did he leave me at that point? I could just imagine the kid getting his next paycheck and noticing it was $10 less than what he was expecting, and remembering me (and the make & model of my car) and spitting in my Baja Blast the next time I drove through the Taco Bell.

Continue reading “Can Anyone Recommend a Good Retail Therapist?”

If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no Snapchat story about it… did it really happen?

The other morning as the sun was rising, I took my dog out to do his business and I spotted 3 deer grazing at the edge of our back yard. They looked so peaceful, shrouded in some light morning mist. I saw them before my dog did, so the moment lasted long enough for me to start fumbling for my phone in order to snap a picture. I was disappointed when I realized I didn’t have the phone on me, but then it dawned on me that I was actually enjoying a beautiful scene in real life instead of through the lens of my iPhone. Why couldn’t I just enjoy it without feeling the need to document it?

Continue reading “If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no Snapchat story about it… did it really happen?”